(This is a Joy-votion, a devo I send out through EMAIL every Wednesday. If you would like this to come to your EMAIL, just let me know at robbieiobst at hotmail dot com and I will put you on my list!)
“Fear not for I am with you. Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you. I will hold you in My righteous right hand!” Isaiah 41:10
“NO, JOHN, you are NOT going to ride a motorcycle. Ever!”
I remember saying this to John in our second year of marriage. Motorcycles scared me. To me, they were synonymous with death. John respected my wishes, but after we moved to Denver five years ago, he announced to me that he wanted to ride motorcycles.
When Noah was six, it occurred to me that fear was a huge problem for me. My fear had leaked onto him and he showed signs of fearfulness in simple childhood activities like sports. I began a long road to stomp out the fear in my life.
When John decided to ride motorcycles after we moved to Denver, the Lord had prepared me and I said “Go ahead, honey. Have fun!” Inside I was screaming.
But as I walked through my fears, courage grew.
Three years ago, that courage was given its biggest test. John left to go on a motorcycle ride one morning and came back home a month later, after a serious motorcycle accident left him to battle a traumatic brain injury. God healed John completely. Before he was out of the hospital he told me, “I still want to ride.”
Last week my husband rode off on his new motorcycle and I prayed, “God give me courage beyond understanding. Peace and courage.” He did. A neighbor saw John ride off and asked me how I could let my husband get another bike after the accident.
1) I don’t “let” my husband do anything. He’s his own man and although we discuss decisions and he respects my opinion, this was his call and I support him.
2) I am tired, so tired, of living in the “what ifs” of life. Those moments steal the joy of the RIGHT NOW.
I put a picture of John and his bike on Facebook (Wanna be my Facebook friend? Look me up and I’d love it!) and I told him about another step in my growth toward courage.
He looked at me with a twinkle and asked, “How about I drive you to Five Guys Burgers for a date on the Fourth?”
“Uh….no. I’m not there yet. Watching you enjoy a motorcycle is one thing, but why in the world would I EVER want to get on one of those DEATHTRAPS??!!”
Even as I said the words, it occurred to me that my journey to living in courage is far from over.
So today I hopped on the back of my husband’s motorcycle and let him take me to lunch. At first I was breathing heavy, like I was going to hyperventilate. I began praying and saying Isaiah 41:10 aloud. I asked lots of questions like, “Was that a wiggle? What’s that noise? How fast are you going? Do I weigh too much?”
Saint John assured me everything was fine. And then, the miracle of God’s love and power in me occurred. I let go of my fear. I leaned back and joy started filling me up. When I got on the bike it was to conquer the fear. But God went beyond and gave me JOY. This surprised me. HE surprised me with the capacity to get a kick out of a motorcycle.
After our lunch, I asked John to take the long way home. During our ride, I lifted my hands to the sky and praised our God!
Want Joy? Declare your independence from fear!!
John is now planning a road trip for us…sounds fun, but we have to make sure the wills are in order. I’m still a work in progress. :0)