You'll Need a Tent Peg and a Hammer

“But Jael, Heber’s wife, picked up a tent peg and a hammer and went quietly to him (Sisera) while he lay fast asleep, exhausted. She drove the peg through his temple into the ground, and he died.” Judges 4:21

Jael is one of my favorite women in the Bible. Read Judges 4 for the entire story, but to summarize, God used this woman to take out a really bad guy. Imagine Osama Bin Laden being killed by one female Navy seal.

I am a pacifist by nature and choice, so I don’t necessarily rejoice when our enemies or convicted criminals are killed. But I understand that “putting to death” is an action that God used all through the Bible and uses today.

Consider Colossians 3:5: “Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry.”

Paul doesn’t instruct us to reason with our sins or hope they’ll change. He says very simply – put them to death.

When I think of the sins I consistently deal with, number one is eating emotionally instead of going to God. I seek comfort, joy and numbness in eating. Food is fuel, but I’ve perverted it to be much more. I am on a journey to end this. It may take my entire life but I will keep fighting.

One thing that helps me in this battle is to remember Jael and her profound courage and decisiveness. Imagine her in that tent with the sleeping Sisera. She had to be stealth-like to come upon him and not wake him up. Jael possessed no wishy-washiness as she approached Sisera with the tent peg and the hammer. She made a decision and she did it. Wham! Not pretty, and definitely not passive or pacifistic.

Sin in our lives needs to be put to death. When we play around with it and fail to realize its seriousness, we fall prey to its dire consequences and pervasive wickedness.

The other day I was tempted to eat something that was not fuel and was not a blessing from God to me at that moment. It was only a way to numb myself from dealing with a situation. The Spirit brought Jael to mind. I was inspired to get my tent peg and hammer and go to town. “Get behind me Satan!” And WHAM! I put it to death. Someday I’ll look up Jael in Heaven and thank her for her fearless heart. She’s only mentioned in the Bible 6 times, all of which are in Judges 4 and 5, but her influence is great.

The last time she’s named is Judges 5:24: “Most blessed of women be Jael, the wife of Heber the Kenite, most blessed of tent-dwelling women.”

Most blessed, indeed. Today, fellow sinners, get your tent peg and hammer and get busy in the name of Jesus. With a little nod to Jael.

(Before I send out my Joyvotions, I usually show them to my husband to get his opinion. Yesterday I sent him this and he replied, “Looks good. But I am now frightened to sleep next to you.” )

Tu-ba or Not Tu-ba be Part of the Body

“Just as each of us has one body with many members,

and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.” Romans 12: 4-5

Last Friday night John, Noah and I were invited to a concert by our friends Mark and Denise. We enjoyed a symphony orchestra playing classical music featured in movies. I loved it! And as I sat and listened to the violins and French horns, trumpets and percussion, cellos and a harpist, I thought of the similarities between the orchestra and the body of Christ.

Each musician comes with his own personal instrument, prepared to do his part in contributing to the end effort, a glorious song that inspires, comforts and entertains.

In the same way, each of us, as followers of Jesus, have been given gifts and it is our responsibility and our honor to use our gifts to contribute to the unity among Christ followers shown in the song of LOVE.

When I was in 6th grade I began my band experience with the alto saxophone. Later on, the band director, Mr. Z, switched me to the oboe, a very difficult instrument to master. The oboe is only a concert instrument and so during marching season I was asked to play the tuba. That’s right, the most unfeminine instrument, in my opinion. But I did it and actually had a great time. So half the year I played the oboe badly and the other half I played the tuba with mediocre skill but tremendous joy.

Looking back at those years, I am thankful for the lessons I learned about practicing, teamwork and doing my part. I also remember those moments of looking at the flute players and wishing I could be one of them. I remember watching the percussionists and thinking “if only.”

We, as Christians, struggle with that same sense of discontentment. If only I were gifted in teaching or singing. If only I were a Bible scholar. Such a waste of thought. We also need to stop the opposite. If only those Christians were more like me. Again, a waste.

The key to making great music is knowing your part well and watching the conductor so the music can blend into something beautiful. A trumpet player complaining that the drummers don’t play like he does is silly. A cellist putting her instrument down in the middle of a performance, simply because she wants to play the clarinet, is unheard of. And I simply cannot imagine an orchestra made up of only triangles.

So what is the instrument God has given you to play? If you don’t know, ask the Father. Find out and use it and offer it to your local church. Be a part of that body of believers, not just as an audience member but a participant. And today, perhaps your gift is teaching your children to obey or to rely on Jesus. Maybe you have been given the gift of organization and today God wants you to use that gift at your job and do it as to Him and not your boss. Or maybe, like me, you have been called to encourage others to keep looking at the conductor.

Christians, let’s come together and make some beautiful music for Him.

Part 3 - What God is Teaching Me about Rejection, Writing and His Tender Love

I should’ve taken a shovel with me when I went to the monastery this past weekend for a couple days alone with God. I didn’t, of course. I had no idea I was going to spend a major part of that time digging up a big ‘ole, and a bad ‘ole root in my soul.

God provided the shovel and helped me and we got it out and threw it away. It was painful work, but in order to keep walking into who God wants me to be, it had to be done.

Before I left, John told me, “Robbie, think about what need you are trying to meet that can only be met by God. I think you might start with security.”

He was completely correct. I took some time and asked God about what I was putting my security in when it came to writing. After some harsh truth flooded my heart, I admitted that I wrote in order to make money so that I would feel “safe” financially.

I just knew, I knew, that I was close to a big book deal in which I would make a lot of money and basically have all my financial needs and dreams met. So when it didn’t happen, I crashed.

God’s timing is perfect and it’s no coincidence that I am going through a Bible study entitled “Enough” written by my friend Stacy Voss. God’s been teaching me about my level of greed and my lack of contentment in who I am and what I have. I’m ashamed of the way my heart has believed that if I had more, or if I were more, then my life would be so much more. LIES!

I am in a position that is truly a blessing. My husband has said to me, “Robbie, I will work and provide for our family. You follow the call God has on your life WITHOUT any thought about money.” What a gift!

And yet, I haven’t believed him. I’ve felt guilty, earning next to nothing as a writer/speaker. I’ve continually dreamed about being able to pay my fair share, or even making more than enough as a famous author. But now I know it would have never have been more than enough. It wouldn’t have been enough.

Why? Because my heart, like yours, will never be satisfied with anything less than Christ and His fulfillment in our lives. Period.

So I took the shovel and dug up dirt in my heart – greed for more, more, more, disobedience in allowing God to be my security and fear of the unknown future.

In its place, God renewed my by planting satisfaction in His goodness and satiation in His abundance. HE is enough. He has my back. He will provide. ALWAYS. If I had to sum up what God planted in me this past weekend it would be:

Jeremiah 31:14 “I will satiate the souls of the priests with abundance. And My people shall be satisfied with My goodness says the Lord.”

So now what?

I keep going. I keep writing and trying and enjoying this adventure. I use the gift He’s given me and live out the call He has on my life the best I can. I expect rejection and crashes and I practice reacting by living in the joy, the satisfaction, the satiation of who He is. Love. Lord. Savior. The Author of All. Redeemer and Forgiver. The Gardener of my soul.

My prayer for you is that you will stay close to His heart. And if you need a shovel, ask Him.

Next week I am going to try my hand a vlogging – video logging. :0) See you Tuesday if there is no technical difficulties – meaning I can’t figure it all out. :0)



Part 2 - What God is Teaching Me about Rejection, Writing and His Tender Love

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.” James 1:2-3

When my son was three, he was given a bright orange car, low to the ground, powered by petals and steered with hand holds.

At the time, we lived in a cottage. Actually, when I use the term “cottage” I am using euphoric recall. It was a shack situated in the yard of our landlord. Noah’s room, and I’m not exaggerating, was the laundry nook. He slept where a dryer was once located.

But the joy of this home was the gigantic yard contacted to a long driveway. In the middle of the yard was a big tree with a solid trunk. Perfect for crashing.

That’s what Noah used it for. He’d get into his orange car and race down the driveway as fast as his little boy feet could pedal and then he’d turn into the grass, still charging ahead with full force, and crash into that tree.

I’d watch, holding my breath, sure he’d develop toddler whiplash or neck problems. John would just laugh at his fearlessness.

And the part that I recall the most fondly, ten years later, is what happened after the crash.

Every time.

Noah’s car and body would reverberate and in the next second his non-whiplashed neck would go back and he’d let out the loudest and most contagious laugh. Pure delight.
After his laugh, he’d yell, “Did you see that, Dad?”

“Atta boy!” John would call.

And Noah would drive back up the driveway to do it all again. Over and over.

Crash after crash.

God is teaching me through my fearless boy. Crashes happen, don’t they? Be it a lost job, a disappointment in a relationship or as I’ve recently experienced, a rejection.

And God has shown me that I need a “crash-course” on dealing with crashes.

1) I need to expect them. Life is difficult. Any journey has obstacles. Anything worth doing well requires hard work and yep, pain.

2) I need to practice my reactions to crashes. Instead of complete shock and bewilderment, accompanied by wailing and eating too much, I need to try breathing and putting things into perspective. In order to do that, TRUST IN GOD, is required. And out of trust comes joy. This will add to my relationship with Jesus, which is ultimately the most vital aspect of any journey.

Today I choose to employ my son’s kamikaze tactics in my writing attempts. I could continue to write with a delicate attitude, hoping what God has given me to say pleases everyone and makes me a ton of money or fame.

But no more.

Today I am a child again, racing ahead with the words God’s given me, typing as fast my 49-year-old fingers will allow. And when I crash, it’ll be with purpose and joy and I’ll let out a loud laugh.

“Did you see that, God?”

And He’ll yell, “Atta girl!”

You know, I’m one of those folks who choose a word for the year. This year my word is “adventure.” What adventure story doesn’t include some great crashes?

Wherever you might be in your adventure, race ahead with Him! And may the Lord bless our crashes!

(Tomorrow - Part 3 - Digging up the Roots of Greed)



What God is Teaching Me about Rejection, Writing and His Tender Love - Part I

                                                                                                                                                                            







Mount Hermon is a beautiful retreat center set in the Santa Cruz Mountains, six miles from Monterey Bay, California. In 2005, four years after I’d begun my journey into the writing world, my husband John gave me a gift. A plane trip and registration to the Mount Hermon Christian Writers Conference. If you want to check out their wonderful conference, go to http://mounthermon.org/adult/professionals/writers-conference


I knew very little about the writing business, although I’d been writing since I was a young girl. But over the course of a couple of years, I’d pecked out what I believed to be the next great novel, surely my ticket into personal friendships with Francine Rivers and Janette Oke and appointments at book signings for throngs of folks at Barnes and Noble. So I packed my bags and flew to what would become one of the highlights of my entire life.

Redwoods guarded our meetings and kept the rain to a drizzle as we writers traveled from seminar to seminar, pitch meeting to critique. I was overwhelmed with the amount of information I didn’t have. I discovered I knew very little about writing a book and I realized my great American novel could use a few more years of rewrites. Maybe a decade.

But I was happy. Deliriously. The old cliché of smiling from ear to ear was my constant experience. I met other writers who made me laugh and taught me. I met editors who gently explained I had no idea what I was talking about. I met agents who showed me that getting published was indeed a process, and not a one-time event.

Liz Curtis Higgs was our keynote speaker (as she is this year at Mount Hermon) and her words tickled me and challenged me. I cried and told the Lord I would write for Him and Him alone. As we sang in the glorious chapel, my heart beat wildly for the adventure to which God had called me.

One afternoon as I walked to a class, I heard the Lord clearly in my heart and mind. “Sweet Girl,” He said, “you are exactly where I want you to be.” More tears.

Toward the end of the conference I went to the restroom after a class and found a woman upset. Sobbing, her body was doubled over at the sink.

“Are you okay?” I asked, alarmed.

“I’m fine, thank you.” She brushed me off and continued wailing.

“Can I do anything for you?” I felt so bad for her. Surely, something horrible had happened.

She looked at me and wiped her nose. “I just got some bad news.”

Poor woman. I wondered who’d died.

“I got rejected.”

My heart went out to her. Relationships were so difficult. “I’m so sorry. How long had you been dating?”

She looked at me curiously. “Oh no, not a man. My novel.”

Later that day I vowed to never be that woman. I mean, what was her problem? This was FUN. Writing was pure joy and the writing business was a hoot! No need to take it so seriously. I couldn’t believe she sobbed over a rejection.

It’s now seven years later, and I have just allowed the Lord to put my heart back together again after a painful rejection. Funny thing is I forgot all about that woman until this weekend when, at a solo mountain retreat with God, He brought her back to mind.

I know what she felt. I understand now. But I sense God brought her to mind to not just remind me that rejection is a part of writing, but also to show me a “movie” of me.

“See that girl who is just happy and naïve and joy-filled? And see the woman next to her sobbing? The only difference in the two? Expectations.”

(More tomorrow on what God is showing me about expectations and crashing and His continual tender love.)

Turning the Page

“We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps.”

Proverbs 16:9 (NLT)

Not every story ends the way we want it to, but God is still good.

· 11 years ago, I began to dream about ending my teaching career to write and speak.
· 6 years ago, I quit teaching.
· 5 years ago, we moved to Denver and I began writing and speaking professionally.
· 3 ½ years ago, I landed a literary agent.

During the past 3 ½ years (with my agent) I submitted a nonfiction memoir that made it to 2 publishing boards (a cool accomplishment in the writing biz) but it was rejected by those 2 houses as well as 8 others. I wrote another nonfiction book on fear that went nowhere because I did not have credentials or platform. This past year, I finished my first full length novel.

A week ago Monday, I wrote a Joyvotion and a blog - a love letter from God. I planned on sending it out as I usually do on Wednesday and Thursday, but God said to me quite clearly, “Send it out now, today, for that one woman who needs it.”

I envisioned a woman who might be dreading Valentine’s Day be they alone or lonely in a marriage. I sent it out and promptly got 3 emails saying, “Thank you, but it’s not Wednesday.”

:0)

Then, I received an email from my agent telling me she couldn’t sell my novel and she’d decided to release me from our agent/writer relationship. Ouch. By the way, I respect her and have no hard feelings at all toward her.

But I did cry. In fact, I felt my heart break a little. My thoughts? Am I just not good enough, God? Should I just quit this? I have no idea what to do next.

I called my beloved. He comforted me and told me he believed in me. I mentioned I’d just sent out a Joyvotion. He said, “I know, I got it. But it’s not Wednesday.”

I smiled through my blubbering. “God told me to send it out this morning for that one woman who’d need it.”

John replied, “That was you, Robbie.”

I hung up and read the love letter again as if God wrote it just for me. And I sobbed like a little girl, as I crawled up into my Abba Daddy’s lap.

This weekend, I’m going to a cabin in the pines to hang out with God for 2 days. No phone, TV, or computer. Just me and Jesus. A wonderful date or a WAAWG (Weekend Almost Alone with God.) I can’t wait. Just like the love letter, He’ll speak to my heart and tell me what’s next.

I write this not to say poor me, but to encourage you that wherever you are in your story, God is good and He loves you. Period. Getting rejected by my agent felt horrible, like reading a sad ending full of tears and broken hearts.

But God will use it for great things. It might be a wonderful chapter ending that needed to be written just like it played out, so the next chapter can unfold exactly as God, the Author of all, wants.

If you have gotten bad news lately, take courage. He loves you with a fervent, unending love.

And your story, like mine, goes on.

Crawl into your Abba Daddy’s lap and He will help you turn the page.

A Love Letter

“Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you…” Isaiah 43:4

Dear Child,

I love you.

I love you with an everlasting, never-ending, no-matter-what-happens love. (Jeremiah 31:3)

I love you even if you: yell at your kids, lie, cheat on your taxes, speed down the freeway, ignore me or put yourself down.

I love you no matter what. (Psalm 66:20)

I love you when: you are exhausted and feel sorry for yourself. You are exhausted and have a great attitude. You are grieving. You are laughing. You are sinning. (Psalm 86:5 and 86:13)

I love you if: there is no if.

You can know I love you because:

 

I sent Jesus to die for you so we could have a forever relationship. (John 3:16)
I say it in my Word. (Isaiah 43:4)
I pour my love into you through the Holy Spirit. (Romans 5:5)
I don’t let anything separate you and my love. (Romans 8: 35-39)
I am love. (1 John 4:8)

 

I love you!

This Valentine’s Week you may get roses or not, or a card or not, or a date or not. You may hate the day because you are lonely or because you don’t like the one you’re with. You may love every minute of this week because you are a romantic or because you are blissfully in love.

How you see this week is how you see it.

But what I care about is your heart that I adore. (Ezekiel 36:26)

I cherish you.

In fact, I delight in you! (Zephaniah 3:17) (Psalm 18: 19)

I love you!

Just wanted you to know.

The relentless pursuer of your heart,

God