“Mom, we get to have our own lockers in Junior High.”
\
He announced this as I drove him home from school.
“You’re thinking about Junior High already?”
“They talked to us today in school about it.”
He continued his story, excitement icing each detail of beginning band and the choices in the cafeteria and so many different teachers.
Tears came with no warning.
“Mom, are you okay?”
By this time we were home and I said, “I need a minute, Noah. Go on in.”
My eleven-year-old sensed what was wrong. “Is it because I’m growing up?”
I nodded. He grinned and got out of the car.
Last night, he and John and I went to my son’s new Boy Scout troop’s meeting. We were all impressed and excited. Noah and John were talking about the details when we walked up to our condo.
“I am going to work hard to be an Eagle Scout, Dad. I’m up to the challenge.”
“I’ll walk Scooby,” I announced.
I needed a minute.
The throbbing of my heart seems like it’s a possessed engine these days, starting up and going off with no warning. My boy is growing up. It’s the natural thing. My parents always encouraged aging in our family. I was rewarded for it on my 18th birthday with a set of luggage.
But I wonder if my mom’s heart hurt like mine does now. I’m sure it did.
When Scooby and I came in last night, John asked if I was okay. I told him my soul felt like Velcro and my baby boy was being ripped away from me, a little at a time.
I can be dramatic.
But letting go is difficult, isn’t it Mom? How do you deal with this?
11 comments:
Robbie, unfortunately, there is no simple solution. Cherish each with your son. And cling to Jesus during the hard times.
I have a book on letting go. I'd like to say it's helped me, but I haven't read it yet.
You made me cry. Got three boys ripping the velcro right now and a daughter who, well, is mostly separated. (not in a bad way, just a grown up)
My boys are all on a mountain slope together today. I think that is really cool.
Jan, thank you friend!
Kay, Have you let the book go? :0)
Paula, thank you! I can't imagine velcro being ripped 4 times! Once is enough. :0)
I handled it just like you, Robbie. I cried a few tears and just waded through it. Of course, there was lots of praying :) Not sure there's any other way...
By the way, love your line "I can be dramatic." :)
Cheryl, You have four, too, don't you? I so admire and enjoy your posts on your blog about your kids. You give me memories to look forward to - you know what I mean? Thank you!
Robbie, I've got two daughters, one son-in-law, and one soon-to-be son-in-law -- so yes, I have four! :) Glad you've enjoyed my blog posts about them! :)
Letting go is SOO hard. There are times where I think my heart is just about to break in a million pieces. But then I am reminded, that I have raised them to be independent. I don't think there is anything that prepares our hearts for when our kids grow up.
Hugs to you, Robbie.
Tonya, thank you for your kindness and wisdom. And not just in this comment. :0)
Hey Robbie,
My older son is going to middle school next year, so I can relate. Next year, he won't be attending school where I teach any more, so big change. Also, no more vacation Bible school, no more kids club at church, every thing will be Junior High now. It feels like a lot of "last times" right now. It is very emotional for me. Thanks for the blog - it's nice to know I'm not alone feeling like this.
Robbie, this reminded me of my children leaving. Now they have children and the circle seems rounder.
This also reminded me of the red set of luggage I received at high school graduation. I read between the lines on this one.
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