Monday, May 19, 2008
The day before I left for my writers’ conference I experienced a bit of a breakdown. Lots of weeping and panic. My writers’ group, Words for the Journey, wrapped courage around my heart like a blanket and assured me the feelings were normal.
I felt petrified of failure.
I have been to other writers’ conferences but I’ve never attended one with something I believed was ready to sell to an editor. This time I was. I knew, logically, not everyone would like it enough to take it but maybe someone…right?
So I felt calm until my hubby John walked in. He sensed the shift in me and asked if I was okay. Niagara Falls gushed over him and I curled myself up in his arms.
“Maybe I shouldn’t go.”
“Robbie, you have been looking forward to this for a year.”
“Maybe I am not ready.”
John looked around and knew he had walked into a pity party complete with chips, dip and Hawaiian punch.
“Robbie, let me ask you some questions. Did God call you to write?”
“Did he ask you to submit things and did you?”
“Did He ask you to get business cards and start speaking and did you?”
“Did He ask you to start a blog and did you?”
“Did He ask you to write a proposal for your book and did you?”
I began to feel annoyed.
“Yes. What is your point?”
“What did God ask you to do at this conference?”
Then, precious John gave me three words I repeated to myself at least a hundred times this past weekend.
“Success is obedience.”
He is right. I cannot control outcomes. I can’t. Success isn’t that moment when an editor looks at me and says, “Robbie it looks good. Send me everything.” (Which happened by the way.) Failure is not that moment when another editor looked at me and said, “Robbie, this will never sell. I’m sorry but no, I am not interested.” (Which happened by the way.)
Success is being obedient to the Master of all, the Creator of words and books and the Lover of my heart and dreams.
Success happened for me when I got in the car and pointed my Honda Civic towards Estes Park and chose to go on the adventure God set before me!
Success is obedience! I was successful!
This week I will post every day! Come back tomorrow for more on the conference I attended and the blessings and lessons God gave me…..