Today is April 17th, Friday. It is springtime. I'm looking for my friend the sun.
And yet, snow falls gently outside my window. The branches on the tree just outside are filled with tiny caterpillar like blossoms. Today those caterpillars are covered with snow.
Sigh.
I want to fight it. I want to deny it and say NO! It can't be snowing, it's April. California, my home until 2 1/2 years ago, seems more than a few states away. Today I am dreaming of its endless sunshine and hot breezes. Today I want to move away. At least get on a plane and fly towards sunshine.
I mentioned this to my husband and he said, "Sorry."
That was it. He didn't jump on the poor me pity bandwagon. He didn't agree that life is not fair when it snows in April. He just said "Sorry."
In 12 step groups there is a line that is SO true and SO valuable to me today. I am trying desperately to let its truth seep into me and flood me with the one thing I am lacking - contentment.
The line? "Acceptance is the key to a happy and joyous freedom you might otherwise never know."
Sigh. It's time to stop fighting what I have no control over. It's time to accept that Denver has April snow. That's just the way it is.
When I begin accepting the weather I can't control, then maybe I will find myself enjoying the white flakes. I'll walk Scooby and be once again amazed at how a blanket of snow muffles all noise. The silence touches me with its call to beauty. And to breathing in the moment.
So I will keep praying. God wants me to stop fighting and enjoy His creation.
Sigh.
Contentment will come if I choose to accept what the Lord has for me RIGHT NOW.
Maybe it's time to throw a snowball.
4 comments:
Robbie - I'm right there with you. Usually, April in Texas is warm and definitely no snow. Then again, we were usually watching the skies for severe weather (i.e. tornadoes). I'm learning to appreciate the beauty as well.
Robbie - I have a bitter sweet memory of April snow. My father passed away from lung cancer in February 1991. One of the last things he video taped was the April snow in 1990. He had a clunky video camera, and stood outside his house in Montana, panning the landscape covered with snow. He was happy and laughing as he described it, still quite awed by nature. It is one of my precious memories.
Joanna, Thanks for the perspective. We aren't watching for tornadoes or floods, thank God.
Susan, What a beautiful memory! God's beauty in nature is to be appreciated. That helps me get out of my pity party. :0)
You already know what I think. We have sun some 300 days of the year, so I love this kind of weather.
But I struggle with that same problem on days that it's hot. Acceptance. Gonna have to remember that.
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