Thursday, February 21, 2008

USE SOAP!




I bought my nine-year-old boy a wash rag and presented it to him.

“What is that?” he looked at said cloth like it was a green slimy foreign food I had given to him to swallow whole.

“This is a wash rag. You use it to clean yourself.”

“What?”

I recently had his eyes checked, but not his ears.

“Noah, you use it in the bath tub.”

“How?”

I thought of the old Bill Cosby routine about telling your kid to go take a bath. (BTW, I couldn’t find this routine on line so I am paraphrasing. If anyone knows how I can find original, let me know. It is all BILL COSBY.)

Cosby, the funniest parent alive, tells his child the following commands:

Take a bath.

Turn on the water.

Get your body wet.

Get your ENTIRE body wet.

USE SOAP.

Use soap ON your body.

ALL OVER your body.

Rinse your body.

USE WATER.

Rinse your ENTIRE body.

Dry your body.

USE A TOWEL.

Use a towel ALL OVER your body.

:0)

So I took a clue from Mr. Cosby and walked Noah through hygene 101. He watched me intently, but I have no idea if any of what I was saying was getting through. It’s as if he has turned 9 and immediately made hygene the least important thing in his life, right below paying attention to Mom’s list of commands.

I decided we would learn the new behaviors as we go, so I just gave him the wash rag.

“Go put that away.”

“Where?”

I stared at my offspring. My beloved, cherished little boy.

“IN THE BATH TUB.”

“Why?”

Help me, Bill!

8 comments:

Jan Parrish said...

LOL. Whenever we had a situation like that my DH would say, "OK Son, let me show you how the men do it." and suddenly he was enthralled. So, you might try that approach. It worked for us. :)

I tagged you. :)

Ralph said...

Kind of reminds me of Bill Cosby's other story about Noah.
Noah build me an ark. Right..... Whats an ark?
Have you tried itunes for the story?

Loretta said...

At least Noah knows what soap is! One step at a time! Pete (my eight year old) came home from basketball practice. I told him to take a shower. He told me, "Mom...clean is a state of mind." To which I replied, "maybe, but you still smell. Take a shower."

Jewelgirl said...

They try to get away with
everything at this age but
then the tweens begin -
you think the mirror is going
to wear out! LOL
Happy Bunny at my mom blog!

Kay said...

we should meet at a park some day with our nine year old boys!

My son is the same way. Every single time he takes a shower I have to go into detail about how to do it. I swear he comes out smelling exactly the same otherwise.

cj marley said...

Nine year old boys are entirely too busy to be worried about taking baths, etc. Only a little more busy than a nine year old little girl might be . . . . . .

Only a certain little girl with big blue eyes, golden blonde hair and a grin straight from Heaven.

No, don't ask me her name. My lips are sealed.

MondaythroughSunday said...

LOL..little boys..gotta love them! fun post!

Robbie Iobst said...

Thanks everybody for the fun comments! Jan, I told John what you wrote. He is gonna help a girl out next time. Ralph, I looked but couldn't figure out itunes...oh well. Loretta and Kay, Let's take our boys to a hygene class! :0) They'd love it! Jewelgirl, thanks for visiting my blog - I will go take a look at yours! CJ, I have no idea who you are talking about! :0) Melanie, thanks for visiting - still praying for your big move!