The Voices in My Head

How do you know you're crazy? Insane? A lunatic? Demented?

I would think it'd be difficult to diagnose yourself. So I don't. And ergo, I have not made an appointment with anyone who might dare use those words with me.

I don't have an official mental disease and those that do have my empathy. Seriously.

But there are days that I take a minute or several and ponder my mental health. Often, I'm not that impressed. If you need an example, let me tell you about last night.

I made homemade potato soup and we ate it for dinner and it was delicious. The three of us watched "Kung Fu Panda" and laughed. A nice evening. Between 8:30 and 9:00 John and Noah went to bed, leaving me to watch my DVRed "Dancing with the Stars." They refuse to be in the same room when it's on.

So there I was, me, alone with myself watching dancing. I was happy. But then the voices started.

"I wonder if I should have eaten that soup. Way too many carbs."

"I don't feel really well."

"Am I dying?"

"What if I have a horrible disease?"

"I don't want to leave John and Noah."

Variations continued until 11 p.m. at which point I woke up John, crying.

"Please pray for me. I don't want to die."

John can be a saint, as he was at that moment. He woke up and said in that husband voice of his, "Ooooookay."

He prayed and made me laugh, bringing a little reality back into my world. And then he went back to sleep. Within seconds.

I woke up this morning and I was alive.

No voices today. At least not yet.

52 days left 'til Christmas! Consider buying a calendar as a present!

Can you believe it's 52 days 'til Christmas? For the first time in my life, I've done some early shopping. Just a couple of presents, but I usually wait until December 10th to start. I feel...a little more adult, actually. :0)

The 2011 Names of God calendar (displayed on the right) would be an excellent gift for one of your friends or family members. Beautiful photography by my friend Tonya Vanders and each month includes a Joyvotion (devotional) by yours truly talking about one of twelve names of God. Great way to remind yourself or someone else about the character of God.

Contact me at robbie iobst at hotmail dot com you would like to order one and send me the money. Otherwise go to the Pay Pal button on the right and click away to pay with your credit/debit card.

And on another note, I now have a WEBSITE! Woo Hoo! Check it out - http://www.robbieiobst.com/ and let me know what you think! :0)

Family - Take it up with God!

This is my last week's Joyvotion. As always, if you want to sign up to get a free Joyvotion in your email once a week, email me at robbieiobst at hotmail dot com.

“A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance.”

Ecclesiastes 3:4

John and I often look at our son and say, “Noah, we’re your parents. Take it up with God.”

I believe God uses all of life’s circumstances to build our character and draw us closer to Him. So it is logical that He would use our families to mold us into what He wants. Sometimes that means He allows us to go through difficult times with family. We all know, to different degrees, how that feels.

But I also believe that God uses the joy of family. This past week Noah and I travelled to Baxter Springs, Kansas to visit my Aunt Carol Jo and Uncle Henry. We also got to spend time with my cousin Bert and his family. We toured Baxter Springs, which didn’t take very long. We drove to Joplin, Missouri and ate and we took a stroll to Oklahoma. Uncle Henry spent some time teaching Noah about the Civil War history of Baxter Springs. My cousin Bert let Noah drive a tractor. Most of all, we visited and laughed. And I got to just be with my aunt whom I adore.

A wonderful time.

I have a “colorful” family. And I love the colors. My mom and dad were both raised in Texas, so many of my relatives have a southern twang when they speak. Add to that the language of many of my aunts and uncles and you get a unique group of folks. Profanity is used with the care of an artist’s brush. Nothing blasphemous, just…colorful. Plus, they use idioms that I feel are gems like: “He’s as worthless as spit in a puddle” or “Don’t go having a squealing worm fit.”

So visiting Carol Jo and Henry was a blast for me.

But I didn’t choose to be in this family. I didn’t ask to be in a family that makes me laugh so hard I cry or be in a family in which both my parents died before Noah was five. As that old saying goes we get to choose our friends but not our family.

God has taught me a lot through my family. Acceptance and honesty. Unconditional love. And of course, the joy of playing dominoes until late and visiting just for the sake of telling stories. I look at Noah and I hope he learns some good lessons from our family too. Time will tell.

Tonight, I was thinking about this Joyvotion and I asked Noah, “What is the best thing about our family, Noah?”

He answered, “The kindness. The love.”

Surprised, I asked him, “Are you being serious?”

Quick as a flash he said, “No. It’s the fact that we can afford video games.”

I’m Noah’s mom. I’ll take it up with God.

My Trip to Kansas in Pictures

Last Friday John and Noah and I went to Kansas. John went to a conference in Wichita and Noah and I travelled on to Baxter Springs to see my Aunt Carol Jo and my Uncle Henry. On the way, we stopped at something I'd heard about. The largest Prairie Dog in the World! Turned out to be a bit of a zoo, sort of.

Noah feeding the sheep

John kidding around  - :0)

John and Noah with Biggest Prairie Dog and baby

Me and Noah with the Prairie Dogs

In Baxter Springs, we visited with my aunt and uncle and my cousin and his family.

Noah, Henry and Carol Jo at the Rainbow Bridge, the

only remaining Marsh Bridge on Route 66

In Baxter Springs, we visited the #2 national cemetary and looked

at some Civil War soldier's graves.

Uncle Henry went around the cemetary teaching

Noah some history.

Noah, Carol Jo, Me, and Henry

One night we had dinner over at my cousin's house.

Wonderful food and laughter!

My cousin Bert, his daughter Kelsey, Henry,

Bert's wife Lory, Carol Jo and Noah

What a sweet time! :0)

Tweaking Time

I'm in a season of tweaking. Not tweeting. Tweaking.

It's one of those periods where I look at my life through the microscope of purpose. I dissect my motivations and my goals. And then I tweak my calendar so that my life aligns with my purpose.

This takes time and often a lot of thought. I have created a ministry called Joy Dance. But what does that mean? What is my purpose and am I truly adhering to that? Takes time to figure it out.

In the midst of my tweak-age, I decided to talk to one of my favorite people, my big brother Phil. I admire
the way he lives his life for the Lord. Not perfectly, but definitely with purpose. So I called him up and made an appointment for coffee. I told him it wouldn't be the usual let's-just-hang-out-and-catch-up meeting. I was going to interview him about his ministry Caleb's Heart.

In interviewing Phil, I felt I'd get some substantial direction on how to tweak my own ministry, my own life.
And I wasn't disappointed.

My first question for Phil was "What is the best thing about your ministry, Phil?"

I expected answers like "Meeting men's needs" or "Relationships I've built" or "Watching God work in me and others." But that wasn't what he said.

Phil took no time at all and answered, "The King is pleased."

With his words, the Spirit grabbed my heart.

"I guess that's what it's about isn't it, Phil?"

"Yep."

We went on to discuss specifics and strategies and the lessons he's learned through trial and error. But after I left, the main thing that God kept bringing to mind was his first answer, "The King is pleased."

I know God loves me unconditionally and He gets a kick out of my life, just as I enjoy watching Noah grow.
But is He pleased with my actions? Is He pleased with the purposes and intentions of who I am?

This is the best tweak I could ever make. Looking at my life, my year, today and asking myself, "Are you pleased, my King?"

I'm still in the season. Tweak-age is still going on.

But I wanted to encourage you, the person who happens to be reading this right now. You. Is the King pleased with your purpose? If so, what a delightful sense of satisfaction to be able to say aloud with conviction "The King is pleased."

And if not, well, maybe it's time for your own season of tweaking.

Taking Care of Me - By Breathing

Yesterday morning, I attended a Tai Chi class. A few weeks ago I was at a writer's conference and sat next to a lady that seemed nice. (Not all writers do, you know. :0) ) So I started up a conversation and discovered that she teaches Tai Chi. So I decided to try it a couple of weeks ago.

I love it.

Tai Chi is that slow type of martial arts looking movement that you might see in China at the park each morning. A slew of folks line up, (it’s a regimented practice) and move. The movements are deliberate and beautiful. And definitely not as easy as they look.

My teacher Diedre encourages us to not compare ourselves with anyone else in class and to go at our own pace. I rely on this.

One of our routines is to practice deep breathing. I love this. My Pop, Walker, taught me to breathe deeply years ago. He noticed that his youngest was the most dramatic of his four and along with that, the most likely to stress out about every little thing that interrupted the course of my day. So, he taught me to breathe.

“Pretend that when you’re blowing out you’re making tunnels of air. See them in your mind and make ‘em as perfect as you can. You do this, Cotton Top, (I used to be white blond) and with each breath out you’ll make that stress leak out of you.”

At 48 years of age, I finally know that dealing with stress is an essential part of taking care of my health. The world is so much more joyful a place to be if I learn to just LET IT GO. Breathing helps. Tai Chi helps.

Yesterday morning, I had to mail two letters. I hate to go to the post office but it was on my way back after Tai Chi, so I told myself it wouldn’t take but a minute to slip them into the outside box. When I pulled up to the box, I discovered that my letters had no stamps. Darn!

I parked and went in to find a long line. Just let it go. No biggie. I’m in no hurry.

When I got up to the front of the line (this took a while) the post office experienced a momentary power outage. After the lights came on, we were informed that it would take a “little while” for the computers to boot up again. I looked behind me and observed the level of stress this brought about to each person. One woman huffed and left the line, making sure she let the employees know of her dissatisfaction in the system. Two strangers started talking about it, both laughed and then they started talking about something else. A cameraderie formed in the midst of the post office line struggle. A man made a phone call and said loudly to whoever, “Well, it may be a while.”

As for me, I looked at the lady behind me and grinned and shrugged my shoulders. This is an international symbol for letting it go.

And then I breathed. In and out. It occurred to me that this was one of those moments in which I can add to the health and joy of my life, or I can squeeze my heart with stress. It’s a choice.

The lady behind me said tersely, “I have to be outta here to get back to my job in three minutes.”

I replied, “Why don’t you go next?”

“No, no, that’s not why I said that.”

“Please let me do this. I’m not working.”

“Okay. Thank you!”

At this point one of the employees waved her over. Then his computer failed to reboot correctly and he told her it’d be a while. She huffed and left. Oh well.

I’m not saying I’m all Yoda or the Dalai Lama or Jesus about life. I get impatient. Plenty.

But yesterday, I took care of me. I did it by breathing. By extending kindness. By letting it go.

I feel great.

Want More out of Life? Try this ONE THING...

“Come aside by yourselves to a deserted place and rest a while.” Mark 6:31

Have you been alone with Christ this week? By that, I mean have you focused on God when no one else was around?

If not, then let me put it simply: You are missing out.

We get so busy with our lists of to-dos we forget to take time for the One who gives us guidance and strength to accomplish the to-do lists.

I’ve known Jesus since I was a young girl. My relationship with Him has had its ups and downs. I’ve ignored Him and adored Him. I’ve run to Him and away from Him. He’s let circumstances brought on by my actions humble me, sometimes painfully.

However, in the last five years my relationship with Jesus has changed dramatically. It’s deeper and richer and much more rewarding. Why?

It’s NOT because:

1) We joined a new church.

2) We moved to Colorado.

3) I joined a Bible Study.

4) I started writing Joyvotions.

5) I began speaking regularly.

6) John’s accident, the joys and trials of Noah or Scooby, my faithful dog.

7) Good or bad times in our marriage.

8) I have wonderful Christian friends.

So why has my relationship changed? It is because of ONE thing.

1) Time alone with my King

What used to be a quiet time of reading and praying has now become a lifestyle of making a PRIORITY to be with Jesus alone for an extended period of time. I regularly make an appointment to sit at Christ’s feet and listen to Him. Sometimes it’s for an afternoon; sometimes a day and sometimes I go to a cabin at a retreat center and seclude myself with Christ for a weekend. (These are called WAAGs – Weekends alone with God – a habit/behavior I learned from my brother Phil and his ministry Caleb’s Heart – www.calebsheart.com )

It’s changed me. And why wouldn’t it? If we put aside the phone, internet, TV and people and hang out with God, of course, we will be changed for the better.

I encourage you to do this. MAKE TIME. If you need have no idea how to go about this, email me and I’ll give you the hints I’ve learned.

You want more from your life? Spend time alone with the King.