The Pain of Surgery

John was supposed to be discharged from the hospital today. But his blood thinners that are eliminating the blood clot in his lung are not balanced yet. Plus, they have to deal with a hemotoma under his calf wound.

When I received this news yesterday, I did not take it well. It hurt. I am tired. My poor husband and I are experiencing some pain. Of course, his is much more physically intense.

I called my sister Karen and she asked me, “Did God promise you that John would go home today?”

Well, actually no.

But the pain of waiting and persevering is wearing me out. I don’t want to be a whiner, but it seems that lately, whining is my first language. I whine with the best of them.

So last night I found myself up in the middle of the night, like many nights. I don’t sleep much without the man at home. In the quiet of the night, I sat and listened to the soft hum of our refrigerator and decided to check my email.

Something I’d saved from last week caught my eye. A wonderful friend, Lela, is sending John little notes from her kindergarten class. She emails him one or two a day. He loves listening to them and seeing the pictures that accompany them. Usually a small child with some kind of animal. He dictates his answers to me.

I opened up one I saved from last week and read the following:

Hi Mr. John,

It's me, Reese. I am in kindergarten and I have been praying for you. Are you better yet? My teacher says that sometimes God makes us all better real fast, but other times He goes slow and takes more time. I don’t know why He does that, do you? Sometimes I can't figure God out. I hope you are better and get to go home soon.

Your Friend,

Reese

P.S. Hope you like my picture.... you'll never guess what's in it!!

John wrote back:

Hi Reese,

Thank you so much for your prayers and your email. The snake in the picture was a complete surprise. It's almost as if your teacher had brought in a bag of them. :0) I'm not sure why God is fast sometimes and slower than we would like Him to be other times. I just trust His timing is perfect. And maybe He is healing me slowly this time so it will be easier for me to remember how much He loves me.

Please say thank you to all your classmates and your teacher for all your prayers. I really appreciate it.

Mr. John

My tears started falling. John’s words “…maybe He is healing me slowly this time so it will be easier for me to remember how much He loves me…” moved me and reminded me of the truth.

God didn’t promise me that John would recover quickly or gone home today. But He has promised me that He loves John and me with a relentless, ancient, unconditional love. John will hopefully get through this ordeal without having to have surgery. But God is doing deep surgery on us both, drawing us to His purposes for our lives.

Stop. Just stop.

Last Saturday was a busy day full of hospital visiting and errands that couldn't wait any longer. After I dropped off Noah at a late-in-the-day birthday party, I was driving home and some brilliant colors caught my eye.

I looked up.

Wow.

I have never seen anything as captivating as the Colorado sky. This night's images were added to my mind's file labeled "The Glory of God."

I whispered the words we've taught Noah to say when he sees such beauty, "Thank you God."

And then God answered.

Robbie, stop. Just stop.

I was near an elementary school parking lot, empty. I pulled in and turned off the engine. I grabbed my camera and took these pictures.

And then I breathed. I put aside all the stuff crowding my mind. I relaxed my muscles.

I worshipped.

Life gets busy, doesn't it? Good things come. Troubles come.

But the best thing that can happen is those moments where we stop. We stop and let God have our full attention.

This is what happened. Really.

An MRI last night revealed new bruise on John’s brain, but old contusions and hematoma are healing. Discharge date is next Tuesday, January 20th!!! Yay! Go God! Blood clot will just take time to dissolve.

Those are current facts that we can hear and see.

But let me tell you what has happened that cannot be seen, except through faith.

This is what happened.

Really.

I memorized Psalm 18:1-19 a few months ago. The Word of God is alive and active and This passage has been alive in me, breathing its strength as if it was my own personal ventilator. The past two weeks these Scriptures have been active within me, running around my soul and heart like bike messengers spreading truth.

So I’d like to share it with you. Scripture is in italics. I’ve put our names into the verses.

Here goes:

Psalm 18: 1) I love you O Lord my Strength!

Absolutely – John and Noah and I have each declared the Trinity – God, Jesus and Holy Spirit – as the rulers of our home and lives. We have chosen Him to be our Lord and our Strength and our Love!

The next verse is something I have prayed over and declared over John many times as he lay in the hospital bed:

2) The Lord is John’s rock, his fortress and his deliverer; Our God is John’s rock, in whom John can take refuge. God is John’s shield, the horn of his salvation, his stronghold.

David who wrote this psalm faced many enemies and many battles. Through John's accident, the next verses became more relevant than ever to me:

3) John and I called to the Lord who is worthy of praise, and we am saved from my enemies. 4) The cords of death entangled us; the torrents of destruction overwhelmed us. 5 )The cords of the grave coiled around us; the snares of death confronted us.

Yikes. John could have died. Thoughts of his mortality have occurred. As he has progressed a few steps and then gone back a few steps, I have seen clearly that we are in a battle. The enemies of Discouragement and Fear and Lies sit around waiting for us to ask them to dinner. So we need help.

6) In our distress, we have called to the Lord. We have cried to God for HELP!!! From His temple He heard our voices. Our cries came before Him, into His ears.

So He heard us. He heard all the prayer warriors across the country praying on behalf of John. Look what happened next. It’s pretty cool.

7) The earth trembled and quaked and the foundations of the mountains shook; they trembled because He was ANGRY! 8) Smoke rose from His nostrils; consuming fire came from His mouth, burning coals blazed out of it!

Was He angry at me? At John? NO! He was angry at those enemies – discouragement, fear and lies! He was angry because they were messing with HIS CHILDREN! God loves each of us with a furious love. So what did He do?

9)He parted the heavens and came down, dark clouds under His feet. 10) He mounted the cherubim and FLEW! He SOARED on the wings of the wind!

I imagine a parent running to rescue their child in danger. God don’t play!

11)He made darkness His covering. A great canopy around Him – the dark rain clouds of the sky. 12)Out of the brightness of His presence clouds advanced with hailstones and bolts of lightning. 13) The Lord THUNDERED from Heaven; the voice of the MOST HIGH RESOUNDED!

And then…our Abba Daddy…the Warrior of All...went to battle for us.

14)He shot His arrows and scattered OUR ENEMIES, great bolts of lightning and routed them. 15) The valleys of the sea were exposed and the foundations of the earth laid bare at YOUR REBUKE, O LORD, at the blast of breath from Your Nostrils!

So God took out Discouragement, Fear, Lies! He gave a whooping to those forces that were trying to take away victory from John and I! And then came the best part…

16) He reached down from on high and took hold of John and me; He drew us out of deep waters. 17) He rescued us from our powerful enemy, from our foes who were too strong for us. 18) They confronted us in the day of our disaster, but the Lord was OUR SUPPORT!

And then …

19) He brought us, John and I, out into a spacious place; He rescued us because HE DELIGHTS IN US!

And that’s what happened!!!

Look up Psalm 18 and apply it to Your life. He delights in You, too and He wants to go to battle for you.a

Reunion

Last night in John's hospital room, we had a small and wonderful family reunion. I took pictures and started with one of John's glaring owies! The following two pics are of John's calf. He has bruises and scrapes everywhere. We talked a little about the crash, which John still doesn't remember. But he does remember what he wore on the ride. His helmet, a thick neck wrap that also covered his chin, his heavy winter gloves, 2 pair of socks (one armored,) 2 pair of long johns, his thick riding pants, 2 long sleeve shirts and a double layered coat with armor on shoulders, chest and legs.

Can you say Thank God?






Noah was surrounded by women last night. Me, his grandmother and his three sisters. When we arrived at the hospital, Noah promptly went to John and crawled in bed with him and lay there a long time quietly. He just needed some Man time with Daddy.





What a beautiful thing family is. John was so blessed to be reunited with his girls,
Marriah, Sarah and Hannah.



John and his four children.



The Iobst siblings!





All of us - Robbie, JoJo (John's mom,) Marriah, Sarah, Hannah, Noah and John.

Joy

You turned my wailing into dancing;
you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,

Psalm 31:11

John is doing very well. In fact, this afternoon he will be moved to the Swedish Medical Center Rehab. This is wonderful news.

He still sleeps most of the time. His brain is still healing. He is confused about dates and times and where he is. But to be honest with you, that happens to me a lot. When he awake and lucid, he is completely himself. My John.

Thank you everyone for praying. Don't stop.

God has been faithful through this entire process. He can't help but be faithful. It is His very nature.

Alleluia to my Lord who dances with us through every beat of life. If we let Him.

I am Thankful!

Before



After







John's accident could've hurt him much more than it did. I am thankful to God. He is ELOHIM, The Lord Most High. He is in control of everything. As Kay Arthur put it, "Nothing happens that isn't first sifted through the hands of God."

This was no surprise to the God of all, the Lord of John's heart and mine, the relentless pursuer of our hearts.

I am THANKFUL! He is in control.

Can't Stop Dancing

I love this picture. Doesn't have a lot to do with my blog today, except that I know that John, my beloved, is safely in God's hands. So am I. And Noah. And you...

My husband John was in a motorcycle accident on Sunday. If you know John and I haven't told you, I am sorry. Please email me and I will send you updates if you want. Right now he is the hospital on a ventilator with a severe head injury. He had a brain hemmorrage which disappeared (Thank you Jesus) and he has no broken bones (Thank you Jesus!) The next step for him is waking up calmly enough (He is very agitated when he opens his eyes) for them to take out the ventilator and then they can assess his brain function. We are praying against any frontal lobe brain damage.

So it's been a heck of a week so far. People asked what I needed and I told them blatantly 1) Pray and 2) Encourage me with an email. Wow. I have gotten such incredible emails. I am going to print them all out someday and show John and keep them as a precious reminder of how the family of God can strengthen each other during battles.

This blog is called Joy Dance. I started it a year and a half ago. I believe in joy deeply. My life has been full of joy. People often call me joyful. And now? What about now as I go each day watching my best friend with tubes everywhere and not knowing where he is? Let me tell you the honest to God truth. YES. More than ever, I have joy now.

See, joy is not a feeling of happiness. Joy is this deep faith that God is in control and I don't have to run around angry or stressed. Joy is the essence of my dance with God. I've danced with Him through those great moments of this year - watching Noah grow and laugh and learn. Being published and getting an agent and sitting at the laptop. Experiencing life with John and watching him live his life to the fullest. (By the way, if he wants to get back on a motorcycle after all this, I will say you go for it, buddy. Live your life!)

I also dance with God during the not so great moments. Like now.

My friend Ralph in Ohio sent me an email with some song lyrics. Like many of the emails, it made me cry because it touched that part of me that needs just a little bit of encouragement to keep going with my head held high, trusting God.

The lyrics are from those fabulous Poet Laureats of the 70s Captain and Tenille. Their words are a bit corny, (but hey, how can you not listen to people who opened up the world of Muskrat Love) but they tell my story the past few days. Music is the feeling of happiness. Joy is the dance.

Can't stop dancing
Just because the music's gone
You can't stop dancing, no
Just because the band has
Packed up and gone home

You know you can't stop dancing
Just because the musics gone
Cause if you keep on dancing
If you keep on dancing If you keep on dancing
You're gonna turn The music back on

Amen. And Amen. Happy New Year everyone! If God asks you to dance, take his hand.