Thursday, July 29, 2010
Some Texas talk for Kay Day
In honor of that one hour ride full of giggling and silliness, I would like to throw out a few phrases from my home of Texas. I dedicate this to Kay Day and any other person who thinks its fun to talk like a hick sometimes. No disrespect intended. :0)
Kay Day, did you see that fella at my party last week? Well, he was ugly as a mud fence! He’s ugly as homemade soap and you know he’s dumber than dirt! He tried to sell me sumthin at my party and I knew he was crooked as a barrel of snakes. But I’m tough as a boot and quick as a hiccup so I hightailed it away from him.
But wouldn’t you know? He followed me. I got plum frustrated as a one-legged man at a butt-kicking contest! He started to honest to goodness stalk me. Made me nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs!
I told him, “Why don’t you go to the house?”
I tell ya what, Kay, he was plug-ugly and mean and dag nab it, he wouldn’t go!
So I said, “Listen, come hell or high water, you are going to go! You are bout as welcome here as a skunk at a lawn party.”
He just stared at me. I tell you he must got whooped with an ugly stick cause he was down right frightful.
It started raining sumthin awful, a real frog-strangler! Apparently, this bothered him, cuz he finally turned and headed to his pick up truck. I saw the 22 across the back window, and I got shaky, but he started her up and lit out.
Supper was calling my name and that’s when we all went in and sat down for grub.
Did you see him? He was sumthin sorry, all right! Lower than a snake’s belly in my book. I feel a little bad for him though. I heard he was so poor he and his brother had to ride double on their stick horse.
Oh well. That’s a whole nuther story. :0)