Friday, February 12, 2010

My Thin Place

My thin place came through a dream. Real. Startling. Life-changing.

I am swimming in a pool of clear blue water. The sensation of the sun’s warmth and the water’s chill fill me with contentment. This is my favorite place in the world.

I begin to feel oozing and stickiness around my legs and my torso. In an instant, the pool is filled with black tar. I’m stuck. The stench is nauseating.

God’s voice resounds. “Robbie, do you know what this is?”

I know immediately.

My husband’s addiction to pornography has ripped our home apart. We are trying to recover, but no amount of counseling or prayer can take away the anger. Anger has moved into our home, a roommate that sits with us at meals, lies in the middle of our bed and casts a spell of silence in our car.

It is unfair. I am a Godly woman who does not deserve to be paying for his mistakes.

“Yes, God, I know. This tar is John’s sin and I am stuck in the middle of it.”

“No, Robbie. It is your sin. It is all yours. But I can help you out of it.”

I see a hand at the side of pool.

“Let me help you.”

I wake up sweating. Conviction from the Holy Spirit dampens my skin and squeezes my heart.

That was the beginning of recovery for me. My thin place became the genesis of a discovery of self, forgiveness and hope. Seven years later, my husband and I swim in the waters of grace.

259 words

This post was written in response to a challenge by Mary DeMuth. Mary's new memoir, Thin Places, has just released. In this spiritual memoir, Mary reflects on the "thin places" of her life; places where she was acutely aware of God's presence.

This challenge I participated in is also a contest to win a Kindle. You’ve got until midnight tonight to submit your entry.


smithsk said...

It is so easy to look at others and not look at myself and deal with the anger in my life, especially when I have been wronged.

Thank, Robbie, for being real and making yourself vulnerable.


denise said...

I had a dream like that once. It is very eye-opening when God comes to us personally in a dream and goes right to the heart of things. So glad he spoke to you.

Jenni / Jennifer Saake a.k.a. InfertilityMom said...

Praising God for calling us out (even when we think all the blame lies elsewhere), then giving us a hand out. Rejoicing in your testimony and God's water's of grace.

Robbie Iobst said...

Susan, you are ALWAYS so encouraging to me! Thank you. Humility is difficult, I agree.

Robbie Iobst said...

Denise, thank you!! I'm off to read Red Hot Read! :0)

Celeste said...

Wow- this is a powerful story. I've been reading alot of the entries, and I think if mine doesn't win (lol) then yours should win :}

Danica/Dream said...

Robbie, this is beautiful. I love your heart.

Robbie Iobst said...

Jenni, thanks for coming over and reading my thin place entry. I checked out your blog and read your wonderful entry too! :0)
Celeste and Danica, THANK YOU!! :0)

Megan DiMaria said...

Robbie, your story is so moving. Bless you for sharing.

Robbie Iobst said...

Thank you Megan. I love reading other Thin Place stories like yours. It is such a testament to the different ways God grows us.

Jan Parrish said...

Wow, you are for sure a winner with that one. Very powerful and beautiful at the same time.

Pulling for you to win!

Robbie Iobst said...

Jan, thank you. What a wonderful friend you are. Looking forward to having coffee with you soon. :0)

The Northrups said...

Wow. That was inspiring. Thank you.

Robbie Iobst said...

Dear Mrs. Northrup, thank you!! I checked out your blog and really enjoyed it, including your thin place essay. You describe being immersed in the love of God so well. I felt your words. :0)

Mary DeMuth said...

Beautiful dream, beautiful story. Convicting. Thanks for sharing it!

Robbie Iobst said...

Thank you Mary! This was a wonderful idea. Sweet to read other's thin places. :0)