Today is April 17th, Friday. It is springtime. I'm looking for my friend the sun.
And yet, snow falls gently outside my window. The branches on the tree just outside are filled with tiny caterpillar like blossoms. Today those caterpillars are covered with snow.
Sigh.
I want to fight it. I want to deny it and say NO! It can't be snowing, it's April. California, my home until 2 1/2 years ago, seems more than a few states away. Today I am dreaming of its endless sunshine and hot breezes. Today I want to move away. At least get on a plane and fly towards sunshine.
I mentioned this to my husband and he said, "Sorry."
That was it. He didn't jump on the poor me pity bandwagon. He didn't agree that life is not fair when it snows in April. He just said "Sorry."
In 12 step groups there is a line that is SO true and SO valuable to me today. I am trying desperately to let its truth seep into me and flood me with the one thing I am lacking - contentment.
The line? "Acceptance is the key to a happy and joyous freedom you might otherwise never know."
Sigh. It's time to stop fighting what I have no control over. It's time to accept that Denver has April snow. That's just the way it is.
When I begin accepting the weather I can't control, then maybe I will find myself enjoying the white flakes. I'll walk Scooby and be once again amazed at how a blanket of snow muffles all noise. The silence touches me with its call to beauty. And to breathing in the moment.
So I will keep praying. God wants me to stop fighting and enjoy His creation.
Sigh.
Contentment will come if I choose to accept what the Lord has for me RIGHT NOW.
Maybe it's time to throw a snowball.
