I am so tired, weary in fact, of living my life
based on group decisions.
It’s the heart of a people pleaser to please. It’s
also the curse.
I am the last of four kids – the baby, the brat. But
I am also the one that wanted desperately to please my parents and everyone
else. I was a good girl, a straight A student, president of the student
council, most friendly in high school. I was extremely good at pleasing. So
much so that the desire became part of everything.
I’m 51 now. I’m a wife, mom, stepmom and grandma.
I’m an ex-teacher, speaker, writer. But the title that has come to the
forefront of my life is lately is People Pleaser.
I’ve seen this title at work in two ways – even
though I’ve fought it for years:
1) If
I can agree with you to make you like me, I will.
This is also part of hating
conflict. I’ve noticed it lately and so I’ve begun to speak up in
disagreement if I feel the need. You don’t like me? Fine.
2) If
by being weaker than you, you will like me, I will do it.
I am a strong woman and I have
talents that GOD has given me. But I find myself becoming less in the presence
of those that I have an inkling would be intimidated or offended by my
strength. And if that could lead to them not liking me, well, then I will be
just a little weaker – or dumber – or less talented. No more. It is time to
stand up in my strength and uniqueness the way God has made me.
No more group decisions. I’m not blaming ANYONE else
– I’m the one who asks for a vote over and over. But now, well, now it’s me and
the Lord.
Do you deal with people pleasing? If so, what do you
do to NOT do it? I'd love to hear how you deal with it. Not that I will do anything you suggest.... :)
6 comments:
Amen Sister! ((HUGS))
Thanks Kristi! Been thinking about you. We gotta get together some time. :)
I had to learn a long time ago, that it's just plain A-O-K to say the word N-O. NO. No, I can't "help" with everything that needs to be done, which usually translates into, "Can you just do it all?" So the word No, had to become foremost in my vocabulary and soon it rolled out between my lips smooth as a French Silk pie. I love the word. It's magical.
Sandy, I love the imagery. "it rolled out between my lips smooth as French Silk pie." :) THANK YOU! And NO! :)
I struggle almost daily not to make my decisions to feed my people pleasing. I continually pray because I want to follow God, not others. I'd love to find some really good tricks to keep me on the right path.
Chris, I relate to you. Praying is key I think. Keeping HIM in the forefront of mind when around folks I am tempted to please is difficult for me, but when I do it, always better. Thanks for reminding us about PRAYER. :)
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