What is Real Love?

I found a treasure yesterday.

I am a writer. I journal all the time. But during the last year of my mother’s life, a precious year I spent with her, I wrote very little.

This week I am in organization and spring cleaning mode and I have found some wonderful things. Including the following poem. A poem I wrote during Mom’s illness. It was during a time when the cancer had metastasized to her brain and she wasn’t herself at all. When I found this I cried and grieved all over again. Not only for my Mom, but for my Dad. That was the year he taught me the definition of real love.

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A vacuum of emptiness
Fills this room.
Laughter and warmth
Once occupied this space.
Now a human being’s mind
Dances to the tune
Of an unknown song.
Foreign melodies in her eyes.

Where is my mother?
Her smile still radiates
As a child looking at
An undiscovered place.
Her gaze stills my soul.
Thoughts crowd my mind.
Personality is gone.

Like a tidal wave separate
From the ocean,
How can personality be separate
From the total being?
Yet I see the separation.
It hurts.

At 30 years of age I thought
I knew what real love meant.
I envisioned it as warmth,
Laughter and intimacy between two.
Commitment, marriage, togetherness
All were definitions that came to mind.

But now I know.

Love cannot be defined in words, rhetoric, poetry.

Love is what I observe and feel between the two of them.

The way he holds her hands as her wrinkled fingers shake with fear.

The way she clings to him as the doctor speaks.

The gentleness in his touch as he trims the hair she no longer has.

The laughter they share as she vows, “His will be done.”

The comforting smiles as they struggle to go through all
The medical bills and insurance piles.

The tears on his cheeks as her mind dances away.

Love is NOT a movie.
It is NOT a romance novel.
It is NOT a perfume commercial.
It is NOT two people making promises.

Love is the unspoken bond that ties two people together,
When the world and its circumstances try desperately to tear them apart.

This is a Fantastic Video!!!

I watched a video over at Kay Day's blog - http://www.loopdeloops.blogspot.com

Inspiration! If you have a dream and are facing any kind of uphill battle, this video will motivate you to go for it. Follow your dreams! Your success may shock others, but don't let it shock you!

I wanted to embed it here, but couldn't so go over to Kay Day's blog, and click on her April 13th Monday video!

Enjoy. And DREAM!

A Father's Gift to His Girl

A while back I left teaching after nineteen years in the classroom. An artist friend, the late great Rick Faust, drew my caricature (notice my gap between my front teeth :0)), including the tears I often shed, on a going away card. (At the bottom of the card it says "To the teacher whose tears are as big as Texas.")

Yep, I cry. I was thinking about my penchant for spillage the other day and I remembered my Pop, Walker Floyd, crying. He teared up at the end of certain movies. Said he had a sentimental heart. I’m married to a man like him in that way. John cries at almost anything moving and patriotic. I cry at anything that has soft moving music in the background. Um...yes. I'm glad elevator rides are brief. :0)

But the moment I remembered was not of my dad crying at the end of a movie. In fact, we were in church. Daddy didn’t go to church often, but we were visiting my older brother Perry and he was preaching so Dad went. I noticed him crying during the service and assumed he felt guilty about something or another.

Afterward I asked him, “Daddy why were you crying in church?”

His reply: “Well, Rob, when you are in the presence of the Spirit, what else can you do?”

I love that memory of him. Tears were a natural part of my Pop’s worship. My tear ducts are a heritage from him. People worship by sitting quietly, dancing, standing, raising hands, closing their eyes, clapping their hands or not. Why not tears?

Thank you, Pop!

Easter Family Joy!

My son Noah said this last night: "Jesus is Risen, I got a great Easter basket, I ate lunch with my cousin AND the Captain got rescued?!! Super day!"

I agree. God is so good and lavishes His love on us consistently! Today, let me share some of the joy He's given to me through some pictures of our Easter church and lunch!

We went to two services. One Saturday night at our church, Jubilee Fellowship and then Sunday morning we joined my brother and family at their church, Southeast Community.

Noah and his cousin Hunter sat in front of us and I took this picture. What a blessing it is to have a great older cousin pouring his life into my boy.



Noah and Hunter, who he adores, at lunch. We ate lunch at Haciendas. It was raining so Mexican food was perfect. And deliciose!



My little man and his Easter basket!



Two of my favorite people in the world. My brother Phil and my sister-in-law Lory. What a pair of truly loving, fun folks! And I get to be related to them!



Phil was wearing these shoes...I have no words. The picture says it all! :0)



My wonderful, HEALED man!! I am so grateful to our Lord for what He's done! (I have rain hair in this picture :0) )



May each day be a celebration of God's love and power!

Thank you for the Cross, God!

The Cross symbolizes so much including sacrifice and love beyond my imagination.

For God to SEND His only son to die for us blows my mind. And it should.

To take for granted what Christ did is to lessen our gratitude for the JOY of second chances. A second chance to live life fully with freedom. A second chance to live an adventure, one specifically designed just for me. A second chance for more second chances, given to me by a God who IS mercy and forgiveness and love.

The Cross symbolizes my second chance...and third...and fourth.

God of mercy, Lord of love! Thank you for the Cross.

Maundy Thursday Thought

Today is Holy Thursday or Maundy Thursday, a day Christians commemorate the Passover Meal Jesus ate with his disciples before His crucifixion. It is also the day that Jesus went to the Mount of Olives and anguished about what was to come.

Luke 22: 39-44 says:

"Jesus went out as usual to the Mount of Olives, and his disciples followed him. On reaching the place, he said to them, 'Pray that you will not fall into temptation.' He withdrew about a stone's throw beyond them, knelt down and prayed, 'Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.' An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him. And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground."

When I think about this day, I don't usually picture the last supper, although the symbolism and love He showed in that meal is momentous. My thoughts always land on Jesus in the garden, sweating blood and truly anguishing over his upcoming death.

And He says, "Not my will, but Yours be done."

Jesus set the ultimate example for how we should live our lives. No self rule. No being "god" of our own existence. Fully leaning on the love and guidance of the Father. Your will God. Your Way. Not what I want, but what You want.

This kind of surrender can only be birthed in faith. Do I truly believe that God exists and that He loves me and has my best in mind? Is God truly FOR me?

My answer is YES! Like that old song says, "I have decided to follow Jesus." I believe. I look at Christ in that garden on the Mount of Olives and I am grateful that He showed me the way. As He does each day.

Not my will, but Yours be done. Painful, Challenging, Rewarding.

Thank you Jesus for that Thursday long ago. And for today.

Ding Dong - The Wound Vac is Gone!

The Wound Vac is gone! After wearing this miracle device for one month, John's leg is wound-vac free! John still needs to wear a dressing on his wound, but he is on the way to a beautiful scar.

We are very grateful for this burping mechanical device, and we are very grateful to put in a box and send it back.

God continues to heal John! This is the first week he has gone to work every day full time - Woo-Hoo! December 28th was 102 days ago, but who's counting? :0)

God is Jehovah Rapha - The God who Heals!!! Blessed be the name of the Lord.